Thursday, September 5, 2013

Amy's Guide to Making Homemade Bread Crumbs

Step 1:
See the half-used bag of hot dog buns on the counter and get annoyed at your children because when you don't have hot dog buns, they insist on having a bun with their hot dogs, but when you do have buns, they won't eat them.

Step 2:
Decide that you are not going to throw away any more hot dog buns ever, but since you're not mean enough to make the minions eat stale buns, maybe they'd make good bread crumbs. Because, hey, you just wrote those on the grocery list. If you make some, you can cross that right back off!

Step 3:
Turn on the oven to the lowest heat it can go. Nobody likes burned bread crumbs. Open up all the buns from the correct side except one, because that one is a little smooshed and it's really hard to see which is the "right" side,  and now that you've started ripping open the wrong side you might as well finish the job. Mangled buns make good crumbs too. Put all the buns on a baking pan thing.

Step 4:
Wonder how long you should leave them in the oven. Shrug your shoulders and say, "Eh, I'll wing it." Put the pan in the oven.

Step 5:
Get involved doing other stuff and completely forget about the fact that you have bread in the oven.

Step 6:
At some point in the afternoon, hear the oven's thermostat click off and have a little freak-out because ZOMGTHEBUNSARESTILLINTHEOVEN.

Step 7:
Retrieve the pan full of buns from the oven, and marvel over the fact that they are not burned, and hey, they feel kind of crunchy and crumbish! Put them in the food processor and make lots of noise and scare the guinea pig half to death. Then pour the crumbs into the old bread crumb canister, and only cuss once because you spilled some on the floor. Of course you did. OF COURSE.

All done!